Billy Joel: Day Five
My counselor tells me I have to get over my “elitist attitude”. Shit, I’m just a regular guy from Long Island, y’know? But whatever. She asks me if I’m going to be in the ward talent show. She says Mariah did it, and Liza did too. I told her I didn’t realize this was the MTV Divas Wing, and do they have a Wing for SERIOUS ARTISTS? She would NOT back down until I agreed to spend some time in the Common Room. Common Room indeed!
So I sit down at the piano, what the hell, I figured I’d give ‘em all a thrill. Looking around the room I figure I’m better off playing something from The Stranger instead of River of Dreams. These people look mean enough as it is. I start in on “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” and people start circling the fucking piano! I shit you not! And my counselor INTERRUPTS me waving her hands, and pulls me out to the hallway. She says the other patients are getting antsy, with all the talk about “a bottle of red/a bottle of white”. Can I sing something without alcohol in it.
First she nags me about not mingling with the others, then she presumes to dictate my artistic choices? This place is no better than the outside!