Melanie Griffith: Day Six

Dear Diary:

This is HELL! Tried leaving three messages for Antonio, but got cut off every time! Finally got through to the maid, but she started babbling something in Spanish and I don’t know what the fuck she said.

DAMMIT! Two more days in this hell-hole.

It hurts too much to move, so I asked for a bedpan. The evil orderly (the “Bonfire” one) told me to get off my ass and get to the toilet myself, he wasn’t gonna empty no bedpans. UnBELIEVEable!! I could have won an Oscar for “Lolita” if Kim Basinger hadn’t STOLEN it. Or was it Judi Dench? Oh hell, they’re all bitches, and jealous of the love Antonio and I share.

Oh, my Antonio, where are you???


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